Adolescence, that stage roughly between 11 and 23 (yes, 23!), is an exciting part of life. It’s also the most difficult we face. Changes seem to be occurring at bullet-speed; and some of them really are! Body changes, hormone changes, social changes, psychological changes, family changes! Where does it end? And when? That answer is different for each of us; and so is how rocky the path through adolescence might be. The challenges and struggles of adolescence include trying to figure out how to fit in and find that all-important sense of belonging and acceptance; for some, it means not finding that acceptance, but instead feeling alienated, depressed, lost, threatened.

Adolescents aren’t adults, but they aren’t still children either. They want to be treated as adults, but most haven’t yet had the experiences that will allow the mantle of adulthood to fit them. As parents, it can be hard to let them risk some of those experiences, in some cases downright frightening. It can bring up the same feelings for the teen him- or herself, yet the need to grow surfaces in so many forms; sometimes it leads them to just jump in – for better or worse. Where they land sometimes creates additional issues.

Have you met one of these kids?

• A 13-year-old in the middle of a difficult and high-stress divorce; both parents seek her alliance and unknowingly keep her in a painful triangle of adult conflict.

• The 15-year-old who handles his fears and social anxiety by adopting an aggressive stance toward everyone.

• A 17-year-old struggling with her personal values for the first time.

• The 14-year-old who just told Mom that her uncle has been sexually abusing her since she was 3.

• The 16-year-old who has always been a good student and had a close relationship with parents is suddenly getting poor grades, skipping classes and is distant and defiant with parents.

Adolescence is when kids take a step away from their parents as they become more independent in their own identities and roles. This transition is never easy, either for the adolescent or the parent. When it goes well, though, a closer relationship between teen and parent is fostered that continues through the passage to adulthood. Sometimes, the struggles and challenges faced by the adolescent make this transition not just difficult, but painful and can threaten the connection with parents, family, school, church and other important relationships.

If you’re connected to an adolescent who is in need of support to help them find their way through these struggles and challenges, in a way that encourages positive growth towards adulthood while preserving and enhancing relationships with parents and family, please call. I can help.

For an appointment or consultation, call

(608) 233-3037 ext 5

MPC
2803 Marshall Court, Madison, WI 53705
Phone: (608) 233-3037  Fax: (608) 233-5893
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